What gays should know before going to Saudi Bing Jabadan Philippine Daily Inquirer
July 26, 2009
MANILA, Philippines—There are some problems that many gay overseas workers in the Middle East are afraid to talk about.
“We have fallen prey to all sorts of abuses by people who have taken advantage of our ignorance and frailty,” began Ryan, an information technology specialist for the past seven years in Damman, Saudi Arabia’s third largest city.
Only after many painful experiences have they learned to overcome their fears and thrive—silently and discreetly—in the conservative Islamic kingdom, added the 29-year-old native of Cebu.
Ryan, interviewed when he was in Manila recently for a month-long vacation, said many gay OFWs, regardless of skill, profession, or occupation, have become victims of sexual abuse. Most vulnerable, he said, were the newcomers.
Silent pain: Gay rape
“The victims usually keep their shame to themselves and refuse to talk about their ordeal, so the abuses continue,” he said.
One common experience of gay OFWs is being lured by locals into having sex, which often degenerates into rape.
“Initially, [a gay OFW] may willingly accompany a local, especially a good-looking one, to have sex. But the situation turns to rape when the gay OFW realizes too late that he is being made to perform sexual acts that are against his will. If he resists, the disgruntled local can turn against him and go to the authorities, and the nightmare of being arrested and publicly shamed begins,” Ryan says.
If the OFW files a complaint, the local can turn the tables on him and claim that it was the OFW who “tempted him.” Such a claim can land the gay OFW behind bars and get him a prison sentence with 100 or more lashes. Homosexuality is a crime in Islamic law.
There are also times when gay OFWs are arrested by some policemen and end up getting sexually assaulted, claimed Ryan.
No one to turn to
Gay OFWs who fall victim to sexual abuse are afraid to go the authorities.
“Gays are regarded as freaks, laughing stock, even if they are not creating any problem or violating the law, he said.
According to Ryan, when a migrant worker is arrested or jailed in Saudi Arabia for being a homosexual, only their employers or sponsors are allowed to bail them out on the condition that the OFW does not leave the kingdom and would be presented in court for trial.
Sex trafficking
Emmie (also not his real name), a gay hairdresser from Cebu City, had another experience to share: sex trafficking.
Sometime in January 2002, Emmie was recruited for a high-paying job in a salon in Bahrain.
“Customers requested haircuts, manicures, pedicures, body shaving, and massage services,” said Emmie, recounting his first day at the salon.
In the next few days, Emmie would learn why the salon was so popular: His coworkers gave “extra-services” to their customers.
“In fact, my colleagues were getting angry at me because I refused to do what they were doing to our clients,” Emmie said.
Emmie: Stand your ground
One day, a customer came and asked for the body shaving service. “The customer wanted me to hold his genitals with one hand while saving him. When I refused, he complained to my manager, and my manager scolded me,” Emmie said.
“I knew I was doing the right thing and I had nothing to lose by giving up the job I had already grown to despise. So I told my manager that I was not interested merely in making lots of money, but in making a lot—with dignity.”
“I wanted to stick to the provisions of my contract and use my talent to earn a living in a decent way,” explained Emmie.
During his seventh month at the salon, the manager again spoke to Emmie. He demanded that Emmie admit he was gay.
The confession trick
Emmie said the manager reminded him that homosexuality was prohibited in Bahrain. “He said I should tell him if indeed I was gay so he could protect me while working in his salon.”
Emmie told the manager the truth. Yes, he was gay. But his admission was used by his employer to sack him from his job and repatriate him back to Manila in October 2002.
“I asked that all my benefits, including my unpaid salary, be given to me, but my manager threatened to have me arrested and put in jail for being gay. I could not complain so I returned to Cebu empty-handed.”
Emmie believes the salon where he worked and others he came to know about were fronts for prostitution.
When Emmie returned from Bahrain, a friend informed him that a crewing company was hiring beauty experts for a passenger ship visiting countries in Europe and Asia. Emmie decided to give overseas work another chance. He applied and got the job.
Emmie recently returned from London after his contract ended. This time he had mostly good experiences to share about overseas work. He said he was applying with another crewing company for possible employment in another international passenger line.
But he still shudders when he remembers his first foray overseas. “Be aware of the culture and religion of the country that you are going to work in. Also, share your stories—whether by word of mouth or through Internet forums and blogs.
“Your story may save someone from becoming the next victim,” he said.
For Emmie and Ryan, gay OFWs who suffer sexual or gender-related abuses in the Middle East should learn from such experiences and draw strength from them so they can continue with their jobs and go on with their lives.
Fight for what is right
Ryan’s advice: “I won’t say, ‘Don’t go to Saudi,’ particularly if you are handsome, because even straight men get abused there.”
But if a gay Filipino decides to go, he should avoid wandering around alone and displaying effeminate behavior in public.
Some have suggested that if a gay finds himself about to be abused, it might be safer to just punch the abuser so that the charge would only be for physical assault, which is a lesser offense. “I won’t recommend that,” said Ryan, adding that “there may also be abusers in jails, both inmates and lawmen,” he said.
To avoid becoming the next victim, gays should behave properly and follow the law. Be discreet. ” And always practice the age-old advice of our parents: Don’t talk to strangers.
“It pays to be prudent and vigilant all the time. But when one experiences injustice and there’s no one to turn to, it’s also important to be brave and to resist. When we stand by what is true and right, we overcome our fear despite the painful experiences,” Ryan said.
