Is he ready for a relationship? Emily A. Marcelo Philippine Daily Inquirer
July 05, 2009
DEAR EMILY,
I met this guy through friends. We would talk often and dine out. He became my companion whenever I’d go out.
My problem is he’s separated, with one son and is thinking of having his marriage annulled. Though he has not proposed, I feel that he’s treating me as more than a friend.
Should I continue seeing him, though I am sure I will fall for him eventually? He is still not legally free. I know my parents would question my decision.
A.
See him as often as you care to. But before you jump the gun on your emotions, shield yourself from a broken heart. Make sure you are not misreading and mislabeling his friendship with you. On the one hand, he probably truly likes you a lot and is in a quandary about how he could go to the next level, considering how complex his status is.
On the other hand, he could just be lonely and has found in you a very willing partner to ease his solitude. You may have become his very empathetic sounding board, a harmless friend he can open his heart to without worry of being snagged again. He has just gotten out of a messy situation, remember?
A serious relationship could be something he shouldn’t embark on soon. He could just be needing kind ears to help him get by.
Why not tread slowly and carefully, and let your friendship take root and grow into a strong relationship? Don’t read beyond anything other than what you hear and see, period. Refrain from weaving these dreams of pink clouds and blue mists that could easily pop into thin air. He needs time to recover. You need time to know him better. Talking and listening to him tell you his life’s story as a friend is different from living with him and sharing his life as his wife.
Remember, a fairy tale can just as easily turn into a nightmare.
